Doesn't show up at office party: psychopath. Shows up at office party: sociopath. Wat do!?

1) I'm not your mom 2) the bomb from the 3B

Kid is about to get assaulted with many surprises when I open this door.

And then I hear "Mommy!?" *knock knock knock* "Mommy!?" .

He shows me the way and I get to work. Thank God they got a stool that worked like a makeshift squatty potty

I'm like hey man mind if I use the restroom? The bad breakfast burrito (3B) is about to go boom.

Meeting up coworker and then BOOM bad breakfast burrito hits.

i just want a hot bod and take photos with shit tons of junk food

good news: gym had super soft cloud-like towels today. bad news: they also had hella lint rub off on everything.

ever since im back exercising my senses are heightened, i'm always craving food, i get feral smelling food across the office and i have to pee every 30 seconds im pounding water.